Social skills – simple guidance on how to develop it

If you feel you are the awkward person at social events or you struggle to start a conversation, you need to develop social skills and this post is for you.

If you feel like you’re the awkward person at social events and functions or you struggle to start a conversation because you’re shy, it can impact your social life and your career. Social skills, such as communication, empathy, interpersonal and listening skills, are beneficial not just to your personal life but also to your professional life. So let us discuss more about social skills in today’s post. We will understand what are the important social skills and How we can develop or improve our social skills.

What are the social skills?

Social skills are the skills we use to communicate and interact with each other. Social skills include written, verbal, nonverbal and visual communication used to relay a message to others. Common ways in which you exercise your social skills are:

  • The language you use
  • The tone, pitch and volume of your voice
  • Gestures you make
  • Facial expressions
  • Your body language
  • Eye contact with others when communicating

How to develop or improve social skills:

  • Learn people’s name :- We feel really good if in the second meeting people remember our name and address us with our name. Remembering the name of the person is very important thing.
  • Encourage others to talk about themselves:- When you speak, you say what you know, but when you listen you will definitely learn something new.
  • Interrupt less:- The best appreciation we can give a person is ‘attentive and interesting listening’. So be a Good Listener.
  • Ask questions where people can answer much more than simple “Yes” or “No”
  • listen with intent to learn and understand:- we often listen to reply not to understand, but if we listen to understand we can develop good relationship.
  • Promote others good work :So if you like this post you can share this and drop your favorite post in comment section so that I can read your post.

Few more simple and effective tips on How to develop social skills

  • Offer genuine compliments and appreciation
  • Read Books about social skills
  • Say please and thank you, these two words cost nothing but can create huge value for the other person.
  • Give without expecting a get, but I bet you will definitely get if not from the same person then from others.
  • Pay attention to your body language, when you speak as well as when you listen.
  • Stay up to date on current news and stories so that you have something to talk about
  • Don’t respond to negativity
  • Don’t nitpick, no one is perfect try to understand people.
  • Be positive, be happy

First learn to listen and then you will learn by listening. ©

How to measure your progress on social skills:

Give yourself a rating from 1 to 5 (where 1 is ‘Never’ and 5 is ‘Always’) for below questions:

  • Are you aware of what types of emotions you are feeling
  • Can you easily ask for help
  • How easily and how frequently you say ‘Thank you’
  • How much comfortable you are in receiving negative feedback
  • Rate yourself as a Good Listener
  • How easily you can give compliment to other person.
  • How comfortable you are in introducing two people
  • Can you say sorry when you have done something wrong
  • How much you are comfortable in starting a conversation
  • Rate yourself in understanding other people’s feeling.

More on understanding yourself

Know and understand yourself… Self-Awareness

How to develop social skills
Ways to improve your social skills score

S.M.A.R.T Way to set your GOAL

How to Set Your GOAL

हम सबका अपनी life में एक ना एक Goal जरुर होता है, और हम उसे हासिल करने के लिए कोशिश भी करते है, लेकिन ऐसा क्या होता है, की हम हमारे GOAL से दूर हो जाते है, क्यों हम अपने Goal को दुसरो की तरह हासिल नहीं कर पाते है, ऐसा कोनसा तरीका है जिससे हम हमारे goal को achieve कर सकते है…….

Reasons and Answer why we are not achieving our goals- in 2 Quotes

A Goal without a time line is just a dream.-  Robert Herjavec

The Moment You Put a deadline on your dream it become a GOAL – Stephen Kellogg

इसे हम थोडा details में समझते है…………..

Why we fail to achieve our GOAL


  1. Lack of Focus – अपने goal पर focus नहीं करना
  2. Start Without proper planning– बिना planning के कोई काम शुरू करना
  3. Without deadline- goal के लिए कोई भी deadline set नहीं करना
  4. Doubt in Yourself- अपने आप पर शक करना की मेरे से होगा या नहीं
  5. Early Give-up – थोड़ी सी असफलता मिलते ही छोड़ देना

Here The S.M.A.R.T way to set your goal

S- Specific

M- Measurable

A- Achievable

R – Realistic

T- Time Bound

S- Specific – हम अपने goal की तरफ तभी आगे बढ़ सकते है, जब हमारा goal specific होगा, यानि “जाना कंहा है” यह हमें मालूम होना चाहिए, नहीं तो हम अपने goal को कभी भी achieve नहीं कर पाएंगे, क्यों की जब हमें पता ही नहीं होगा की, हमें जाना कंहा है, तो हम अपने goal को कैसे achieve करेंगे, इसके लिए आप अपने goal और target को set करे|

M- Measurable-“कैसे जाना है” इसके लिए आपको KPIs Set करना होगा, क्यों की जब तक आप अपने goal को track नहीं करेंगे, आप को पता ही नहीं चलेगा की, आप अपने goal के कितने करीब हो या दूर, आप को हमेशा अपने improvement को measure करते रहना चायिये| 

A- Achievable“कैसे मिलेगा” आप जो भी goal set करे वो achievable होना चाइये, जिसे आप achieve कर सके

R – Realistic“क्या मिलेगा”आपका goal वास्तविक होना चायिये ना की काल्पनिक, यदि आपका goal realistic होगा तभी आप उसे achieve कर पाएंगे |

T- Time Bound- “कब मिलेगा” आप अपने लिए जो भी goal रखे उस goal को पूरा करने के लिए एक time set करे,क्यों की जब हम किसी काम को करने के लिए कोई time set करते है, तो हमारा mind active हो जाता है|

यदि आप SMART GOAL set करते है, तो एक दिन सफलता जरुर मिलेगी

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. — Winston Churchill

आप KPI set कर के अपने goal को पा सकते है.

Role of KPIs-

KPIs- Key Performance Indicators- यदि हम हमारे goal को achieve करना चाहते है तो हमें Self-KPI set करना होगा, ताकि हम हमारे goal को पाने के रास्ते से भटक ना जाये| इसके लिए आपको अपने 24 hours को इस तरह से बाँटना होगा की आप अपने Time का सदुपयोग अपने goal को पाने में कर सके|

सबसे पहले आप अपना ME TIME find करे, i.e. Available Time out of 24 Hours for your goal, क्यों की इसके बिना आप अपने goal को achieve नहीं कर पाएंगे|

  • Set your clear goal or target- सबसे पहले आप को S.M.A.R.T. तरीके से अपने goal को set करना है, आपका goal Time Bound होना चायिये|
  • Set Self Rating for Task – यदि आप अपने daily target को achieve करते है तो अपने आप को Out of 5 rating दे सकते है. Eg.
    • 5- Best- 90% or More
    • 4- Better- 70-80% or More
    • 3- Good- 50-60 % or More
    • 2- Improvement Required- 40%
    • 1- Bad- less Than 40%
  • Monitor your KPI Rating daily or weekly 
  • Check your Progress daily  – आपको अपनी progress पर daily नज़र रखनी होगी, यदि कही सुधार की जरुरत हो, तो उसमे सुधार ला कर अपने goal को achieve कर सकते है|

यह सब तभी संभव होगा जब हम अपने goal को पाने के लिए अधीर होंगे और रोज उस पर मेहनत करेंगे, KPI आप के लिए एक Report Card की तरह होगा, जो आपको यह बताएगा की आप अपने goal के कितने करीब हो या दूर…….

“One day or Day one” Choice is yours

How to maintain a to-do list for managing priorities

The biggest lie we always tell to our-self is that I need not have to write; I will remember it. However, we know we cannot so we need a to-do List.

In my earlier article on utilizing time effectively by Priority Management, I have briefed various methods of managing your priorities. Now I am taking one topic in details i.e. how to maintain a to-do list.

Always maintain a to-do list and keep that in front of you.

How to maintain a to-do list
Key elements which we need to keep in mind while maintaining a to-do list

The biggest lie we always tell to our-self is that I need not have to write; I will remember it.

So if we accept the simple truth that, it is not easy to remember each and everything. Then there comes the role of To-Do List.

I find that if I write my tasks down, I’m far less stressed because I know I won’t forget anything. Moreover, when I’m done with one task, I can move right onto the next without reorganizing the list in my brain.

So now let’s discuss how to create a good to-do list and benefits of it:

  • Keep the To-Do List Simple: – A to-do list should be simple and precise. So that you can get what you are supposed to do instantly after reading the item; rather than getting confused.
  • Periodicity: – Periodicity of your to-do list depends on your roles and responsibilities. One should maintain a daily to-do list and maximum for a week, again this depends on your roles and responsibilities. You should prepare your to-do list for the next day before you leave for the day. So that you already know what you are supposed to do first thing when you reach office.
  • Order of to-do list: – To-do list should be maintained in the order of priority. The most important task should be on the top of the list. So that your focus will be on the important task.
  • Include related Information: – you should include related information in the to-do list itself. e.g. your task includes calling someone, then includes that person’s phone number on the list, so you won’t waste time searching for it later.

    Timeline and structure of a to-do list:

  • Timeline: – Once you created your to-do list for the next day, please make sure to add a timeline to it. Mention against each item at what time of the day you will complete this. One important thing you should always have some buffer time in between. So if something pops up for which you have not planned, can be completed.
  • Structure of your to-do list: – Your to-do list should not include more than 2 big tasks which will consume almost 60 % of your energy and time. A good to-do list should consist of
    — not more than 2 big tasks and
    — 3 to 4 medium task (30 % of your time and energy should go here) and
    — 4 to 5 small or tiny task with remaining time.
  • Tool for to-do list:- One can use a simple calendar diary to make their to-do list, which is the old and best way to maintain a to-do list. If you want to digitize your to-do list one can use One Note of MS Office. Or if you are looking for the simplest tool then nothing is better than Sticky note, (Window’s built-in) which is nothing but a digital post – its.

    Review of a to-do list:

  • Reviewing to-do list: – Whichever tool you use, the to-do list should be readily accessible to you. You should refer to your to-do list 4 to 5 times in a day depending upon the number of items on the to-do list.
  • Completed items: – One should tick mark the completed item or write done to mark the completed items, instead of deleting the same, when you use a digital tool. Benefits of the same will be you will get confident and motivated to complete more. and at the end of the day, you know which all task you have completed.
  • Time to make a to-do list: – Now you have agreed to make a to-do list on daily basis, please keep a fifteen minutes time before you leave your office to make a to-do list for next day.

© All rights Reserved

Manish Malu

How to give and receive feedback… Part 1…


We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.”

– Bill Gates

It takes humility to seek feedback, It takes wisdom to understand it, analyze it and appropriately act on it.

— Stephen Covey

Before we move on to how to give and receive feedback, first we must understand what is feedback.

Feedback is communication of information about behavior or performance in a way that enables receivers to use it to their advantage and benefit.

Broadly feedback is classified in three types:

  1. Positive: affirming comments about past behavior. Focuses on behavior that was successful and should be continued.
  2. Negative: describes a perceived negative behavior, without proposing a resolution.
  3. Constructive: highlights how a person could do better next time; needs to be delivered sensitively.

How to give Feedback:

Continue reading “How to give and receive feedback… Part 1…”

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