Understanding Self-Control, a skill must for Success in Life

If you cannot control yourself and your emotions, you cannot succeed in life. Understanding Self-control is very important. Let us look what we can control.

Self-control is often used to describe a favorable character trait in people. The word is used frequently, but what exactly is Self-control, and why is it important? Let us today try and understand self-control in detail and also we will understand what we can control and what we cannot control. So let us start with understanding the meaning of Self-control.

Understanding Self-control:

Dictionary Meaning:

the ability to control oneself, in particular one’s emotions and desires, especially in difficult situations.

In other words, Self-Control is an ability to monitor and regulate one’s own emotions and desires in any tempting situations. It is also an ability to regulate and follow one’s own thoughts under any circumstances.

Quotes on Understanding Self-control:

The difference between want and need is self-control.
When you have control over your thoughts, you have control over your life.
Knowing yourself is Wisdom, controlling yourself is Strength.

Benefits of Practicing Self-control:

Benefits of Understanding Self-control

What we can control:

There are so many things and emotions which we all can control, yet we all think and discuss rather get upset about what we cannot control. So here is the list detailing what we can control.

This list is just an example of things that we can control, in addition,  you can create your own list of things and emotions which you can control on the basis of this list.

  • Your Thoughts
  • Your Attitude
  • Best utilization of your time
  • Your Mindset
  • Your Beliefs
  • What you put in and what you bring out of your mouth
  • Your Feelings
  • How many times you Smile in a day
  • Saying Thank You
  • Attentive Listening
  • Trying new things and learning new skills
  • Grateful for things and people you have
  • How much information you share with people
  • Stop Judging
  • Your Reaction to everything

What about the things which we cannot control and what to do for those things:

Lest us first see the example of things in this category:

  • Other People’s Thoughts
  • If People Likes or dislikes you
  • The passing of time
  • How other people treats you
  • The outside situation, like the current Pandemic
  • Other People’s actions
  • Other People’s beliefs and thoughts
  • Whether people like, love, understand or accept you
  • The exact outcome of anything
  • When you will Die

Now if you carefully read this list, you will understand that these things are either universal truths or are in control of other people whom you interact with. So here you need to understand that you cannot control universal truths and you cannot control hundreds of people with whom you interact. In fact, you cannot control a single person. What is in your hand is your reaction, your attitude for those things, or people whom you cannot control.

Here I would advise you to read a post of mine which talks about Bad News and Good News in Life, here is the link:

Bad News and Good News in Life

Understanding Self-control, Conclusion and Way Forward:

By far we have understood what is Self-control, benefits of practicing Self-control. In addition to that we have also seen in life, there are many things which we can control and we need not have to worry about what we cannot control.

Now the next thing which comes in mind is that how to practice Self-control. For Self-control, the most important thing is Willpower, so along with other ways to improve and build Self-control, we will discuss in detail about Willpower in the next post.

9 Easy Hints To Boost Your Self-Confidence

Dear Friends please read this wonderful post.

Whether you are looking for a new job or going on a first date, one of the most important characteristics that will stand you in good stead is your self-confidence. Increase your self-confidence with these tactics to help you through interviews, meetings, and more. 1. Stop saying “should” Don’t make yourself feel guilty by thinking […]

9 Easy Hints To Boost Your Self-Confidence

Understand resilience, its attributes and your own score

In the current pandemic situation, it is important to build resiliency. So today let us understand resilience, its attributes and our resiliency score.

In this current pandemic situation, it is very important for all of us to improve our emotional resiliency. Emotional Resiliency will not only help in surviving this situation but also help us in thriving in this situation. So today let us understand what is resilience, its attributes and our own resiliency score.

Meaning of Resilience:

Dictionary meaning of resilience:

The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness. or
The ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.

Lets us understand meaning of resilience further:

Resilience is the process of adapting well,
in the face of adversity,
threats or
significant sources of stress such as family and
relationship problems,
serious health problems or 
workplace and
financial stress.
It means, “Bouncing back” from difficult experiences. Also
It means comeback from a Setback.

In other words, we are talking about our ability to handle life, in all its unpredictable difficult situation, without falling off, or hurting ourselves in the process.

Few Quotes to Understand Resilience in further detail:

Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving; we get stronger and more resilient.

It’s your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself that determines how your life’s story will develop.

Resilience is very different than being numb. Resilience means you experience, you feel, you fail, you hurt, you fall. But, you keep going.
― Yasmin Mogahed

In conclusion, That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
― Friedrich Nietzsche

Let us Understand Resilience and attributes of Resilient people:

  • They not only maintain a positive outlook, but also envision brighter days ahead.
  • Resilient people have solid purpose or goals in life, and a desire to achieve the same.
  • Resilient people are empathetic and compassionate however,
  • They don’t waste time worrying what others think of them.
  • Above all, People with emotional awareness understand what they’re feeling and why. Moreover,
  • They also understand the feelings of others better because they are more in touch with their own inner life.
  • Resilient people also see the positives in most situations and believe in their strength.
  • Resilient people never think of themselves as victims. Above all they focus their time and energy on changing the things that they have control over.

Know your Resiliency Score:

Instructions for the test:

  1. Read the question carefully and,
  2. Answer the question with honesty.
  3. Answer according to your first choice as soon as you read the question.
  4. Rate yourself from 1 to 5 (1 = strongly disagree; 5 = strongly agree)
  5. Keep adding points for each question to know your resiliency score.

I often feel like I have control over what happens to me.

I do not worry about issues that I have no control over.

Feelings of anger and discouragement do not last long.

I can overcome painful childhood memories and lessen their impact on my behavior.

I am emotionally very strong.

When one attempt fails, I do not get discouraged and I learn from it and change my approach next time.

I am able to discuss my job and its challenges with people outside of work, such as family members and close friends.

Above all, I am normally optimistic and see difficulties as opportunities.

When going through a difficult period, I have a tendency to focus on the good things in my life that help me blossom.

I try to control events rather than being a victim of circumstances.

Interpretation of the score:

  • Less than 20: Low Resilience
  • 21 – 30: Some Resilience
  • 31 – 40: Adequate Resilience
  • 41 – 50: High Resilience  

Conclusion and Key Notes:

So far we have understood what Resilience means and what are the attributes of Resilience people. We also know where are we in terms of our resiliency score.

However, you need not have to worry if you have scored low in the test, because you can build and improve your resiliency score. You can learn this skill and how you can learn this, we will discuss that in my next post.

Till then thanks and you can read below post to know yourself better.

Know and understand yourself… Self-Awareness

Self-Discipline, How to bring discipline in Life

Understand Resilience
We as a human also need to do this. Resiliency will help us in thriving in the difficult time.

Happy Birthday to me… Few wonderful quotes for you all…

Hello Friends, Its my birthday today and I want to share few of my favorite quotes and posts for you all to read, please read the same and share your thoughts and feedback…

Don’t wait until you reach your goal to be proud of yourself – Be proud of every step you take…!!!

Remember the five simple rules to be happy: Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

You don’t need other people to validate you, you’re already valuable.

You are you, no one in this world can do a better job of being you than you.

When you learn how much you are worth, you will stop giving people discount.

Three simple rules in life… 1. If you do not go after what you want, you will never have it. 2. If you don’t ask, the answer will always be NO. 3. If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place.

Everything in our life is a reflection of a choice we have made. If we want a different result, make different choices. 

When you ‘Excel’ and people ‘Spreadsheet’ about you, ignore their ‘Word’ , ‘Access’ your inner wisdom and maintain a positive ‘Outlook’. Make this habit as your ‘Power Point’.

Every setback is a set-up for a comeback. Comeback should always be stronger than setback…!!!

Only you can change your Life, No one else can do it for you and never underestimate your power to change your Life.

Few of my Favorite Post please read and share your thoughts:

Self-Confidence vs EGO

Learn to value yourself

How to come out of comfort zone

Why people don’t appreciate

How to unleash your hidden potentials

Quotes To Help You Make Life Choices

Now I had a choice to make. Leave the unexploded ordnance like it was which could injure someone or risk my life going back to the lab to see what went wrong and fix it. The decision was simple and I slowly made my way through the jungle back to the lab. It seemed like it took forever because with every step I took, I would stop and look for smoke or any telltale sign that the fuse was still burning.

Quotes To Help You Make Life Choices